it's 130 in the morning and i'm searching knitting patterns while watching billy the exterminator. i'm looking for a hat for my friend thanh. tomorrow is mexican food with the boys. went to get haircuts today, and didn't speak on the way there, and barely spoke on the way home. awesomeness.
got a text from a friend saying that my exboyfriend was sighted last week. "i waved hi with a specific finger" - this is why i love my sunshine. i got to talk to an old friend today. i'm trying to find ways to deal with my grandfather's passing
i'm on the hunt for a religion, something to believe in. i've never had a problem with being agnostic before this, but i need to find something that i can find hope in. i need to find some explanation as to what has happened now that he's gone. is he energy that has dispersed to other places? will he come back in another form, time, or place? i just don't know. i know he's not suffering any more, and that's a wonderful thing. he's not in pain, having to get insulin injections; he no longer suffers from the parkinson's, alzheimer's, and neuropothy, amongst other things. but i don't know where he's gone to....
wherever you are, granpa, i miss you and i love you so very much. you were an amazing man, loved and adored by many. we all miss you.
good nite, sweet prince.
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